SOPHROLOGY COLUMN - TAKE THE PLEDGE TO STOP COMPLAINING!
On average, individuals complain between 15 and 30 times a day. We complain about the kids being slow, our family, our demanding boss or how our spouse never understands us!
We protest to the point of becoming breathless and still nothing changes, it’s like no one is listening! Some of us, to avoid being “naggy”, will just shut down and choose do everything themselves!
Behind every complainer or person who shuts down, there’s a woman whose needs and deepest desires are being suffocated, and it’s time to change! As such, I invite you to take the pledge, “I will not complain for 21 days straight”. Why 21 days? Because that’s how long it takes to change habit.
Does stop complaining mean becoming a “yes-woman”?
Warning! Stopping yourself from complaining does not mean becoming complacent to everything! Quite the opposite, it’s about facing problems objectively in order to find efficient and lasting solutions, while changing the way you react to frustration. It’s allowing yourself and others to become more responsible for better collaboration. It’s also becoming aware of people’s hidden emotions: behind every crying fit are non-verbal emotions that need to be put into words! But first and foremost, it’s about being able to identify and acknowledge that through our screams we are actually expressing unmet needs. So what are they? Need for love, acknowledgment, security, affection, calm and order, respect? When you stop complaining you actually start asserting yourself.
By tuning in to our own needs and values, we rediscover the self-esteem and sense of integrity that comes from being heard and respected. Throughout this challenge, you will start to remember what is truly important, for instance taking time for yourself and putting yourself first, because don’t forget it’s only when we take care of ourselves that we can be present for others. Here are 5 tips to help you reap the benefits of this exercise:
- What if instead of complaining we started by celebrating the positive aspects of life? For example, at dinner time go over the few small joys that made up your day.
- Usually our complaints stem from a lack of sleep, so go to bed 30 minutes earlier and wake up with a smile.
- Get organized, define and write down everyone’s specific responsibilities. This chart will be the base of your freedom by allocating time for yourself.
- Dare to ask for acknowledgement in your work and achievements instead of brooding over the lack of it for hours. Yes, we do deserve thanks for such well-prepared vacations, lovingly cooked meals or well-managed accounts.