Finally! After 9 long months of expecting, your bundle of joy is finally here. Everyone was treating you like a queen, you’ve been prepped like an athlete, you’ve giving birth and then…. Oh yeah and then what?
Very often I hear moms telling me that they were so focused on their pregnancy and on the task of giving birth, they can’t actually see themselves or plan beyond that, as if the birth in itself was the end of the journey.
The first step in life with your little one is being able to let go of the baby you fantasized about and welcoming the actual child in your life, and with it the reality of a fully distinct human being who has particular needs that are not always easy to understand. It results in an overwhelming ocean of love, but also a little person that needs his mummy 24h per day. So we need to adapt, tame ourselves and give ourselves time. You don’t become a mother overnight.
Yes you can say it: having a baby is exhausting, and this doesn’t make us bad mothers, quite the opposite! Don’t give in to hypocrisy and become more responsible and present for your child by seeking out help.
Maternal struggles remain taboo because we still receive a false, glorified image new-borns, what they need and the legendary glamorous mothers out there!
Lucy never thought: “it would be so wonderful but also extremely hard. All the emotions were multiplied by 20. I was surprised to see that I was always worried, even though I always considered myself to be a laidback person. I would start worrying at the sight of the slightest redness on her bottom, by her first cold or the slightest cough. Everything was so new and unknown. I was responsible for a life, and all the more - my daughter's’”. Julie surprised herself with the amount of dark thoughts that came to her at certain times: “even when I was simply walking in the street, I would worry that something could happen to her and even have nightmares about it.”
Break free from this taboo. Scream it out loud, yes being a mom isn’t a walk in the park but that it doesn’t take away from the beauty these feelings. Dare to seek help just as you did to deliver your baby.
Sophrology can help in getting some energy back, relax, learning to handle your emotions, feeling confident and re-fuel with someone who is there to hear you out and listen. It doesn’t give you false ideas of motherhood: it allows you to discover and become the mother that you want to be !
*Aude Mahoudeau Campoyer has just opened a dedicated centre for future moms and their babies in Discovery Bay.
It offers childbirth preparation classes, pre and post-natal yoga, pre and post-natal support sophrology sessions, a certified Doula and group sharing sessions with a psychologist, as well as numerous other activities. Both in English and in French